HELP! We're Married with Kids!!

Do you feel like your marriage is always on the back burner? Is your marriage always playing second fiddle to the kids, finances, schedules, careers? When you have the spare minute to connect with your spouse do you often feel there is a tension between you? Has the ease of communication long been thrown out the window and your relationship is in pure survival mode?

Even though these are some of the busiest days of your lives, your marriage should not have to suffer because of the stress. There are ways to keep your love alive and your relationship a safe haven in the sea of life stressors.

Here are 4 tips to help you enrich YOUR marriage:

1: Gratitude! Create a sense of deep love for one another by showing your partner that you notice all of their efforts. Even the smallest gestures like “Thanks for doing the dishes or picking up those socks” can go a long way. This tells our partner that we notice them and what they are doing is important to us. Often telling others publicly that we are proud or thankful for the things our spouse is doing can be very music to their ears.

2: Focus on your love life. Who wants to hold hands when we have been touched, hung on, patted, poked and prodded all day by the kids? Physical touch with our partner is so important. It’s the only time that oxytocin, which is dubbed “the bonding hormone”, gets released. It’s important to have to connect intimately with your spouse so schedule time for sex if your schedules are too busy.

3: Laugh more. Life doesn’t always have to be stressful. Take time to relax and laugh together. Whether you watch a funny movie together, play board games, or even reminisce of past times, give your relationship a break, let your hair down, and laugh.

4: Have your own life and support your spouse in their own life. It’s important to still feel like you have your own identity outside of being a wife/husband or mother/father. Everyone has their own passions and spouses should support their spouse in their pursuit of these passions. What that support may look like looks different for every couple. So decide together what your needs and expectations are.

At Cache Valley Counseling, we specialize in helping couples to navigate the stressful moments of marriage. Set up your FREE discovery visit today to find out just what we can do to help you find lasting love in your relationship.