Are you recently married and finding that marriage isn’t quite what you thought it might be? Struggling to be “blissfully happy” like everyone says that you should be? Do you ask yourself if you are the only one that isn’t happy once the wedding is all over? Let me be the first to tell you, you are not alone!
Many couples find the years of dating and romance to be easy, to come naturally. Unfortunately, that changes after the wedding and things are not so natural or as easy as they once were. Now you are married, living together perhaps for the first time, having to work together to get ahead financially, supporting each other through school, careers, and faced with the ultimate question of when to start a family. This can all be very overwhelming and stressful for couples.
Here are 4 tips to help you build a solid foundation for your new beginnings:
1: Avoid criticism! Criticism is the seed to much unhappiness and tension in your relationship. Realize that you and your spouse are going to do things differently – you just are. When there is a disagreement or miscommunication, discuss with your partner in an open and curious way as to why there was a disconnect rather than approaching them with judgement or criticism.
2: Focus on your love life. The assumption goes that you are “young and in love” and it should just come naturally. Sex is the most intimate and vulnerable things that happens between a couple. Therefore, there can be a lot of pressure around intimacy and it can be scary to talk about it. Share your fears, your concerns, and your deepest desires with your spouse.
3: Connect with other newlywed couples who might be experiencing some of the same issues and talk together about how they overcome their challenges. Be careful not to compare your relationship to others but find strength in sharing your relationship triumphs.
4. Don’t be afraid to seek help. You have already committed to your partner, now use available resources to strengthen and give your relationship every advantage.
At Cache Valley Counseling we specialize in helping newly married couples navigate the transitions of the first couple years of marriage. Set up your FREE discovery visit today to find out just what we can do to help you find lasting love in your relationship.