Couples

Emotionally Focused Therapy is the only form of couple’s therapy that has scientific proof and research outcome data supporting its effectiveness.  Research demonstrates 70-75% of couples report improvement in a short period of time and 90% report improvement with a full course of treatment.

EFT is the only form of therapy where there is a therapy road map.  An EFT therapist takes the couple through 3 Stages of treatment, with each phase having its own distinctive focus.  We do not rehash the fight of the week and focus on content issues.  Instead, we look at and understand the emotional processes (negative patterns) where couples get stuck & focus on changing negative patterns into more positive interactions.

EFT  treatment goals are:

  • to reduce distress in relationships (stage 1: de-escalation)

  • create reconnection between partners (stage 1 & 2: creating bonding moments & events)

  • create a safe environment for couples

  • create more secure attachment bonds between partners (stage 2 & 3)

  • integration & consolidation of new secure bond between partners (stage 3)

How Does Change Occur?

We focus on these patterns and work on changing these negative interaction cycles in a non-judgmental environment.

In a relatively short time, couples begin to recognize and eventually express their needs for love, support, protection and comfort that are often hidden or disguised by the harsh or angry words used in repetitive self-defeating patterns of conflict or arguments with each other.

Partners begin to “listen with the heart,” one of the cornerstones of EFT – which means listening not for the literal meaning of a partner’s words, but for the feelings that lie beneath. In return, the other partner is better able to respond from their heart in kind. This is the “emotional focus” of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.

We view the building of “a safe haven” in your relationship as our primary task, and we will try to focus on your primary needs — to feel close, secure and responded to — which probably underlie most of your couple conflict.

Once this safe haven and feelings of connection are re-established, you will be better able to manage conflict and the painful or difficult feelings that will inevitably arise from time to time in a close relationship. Furthermore, without so much defensiveness, each of you will be able to:

  • send clearer messages

  • hear the other’s perspective

  • collaborate

  • problem-solve

  • compromise